Tuesday, October 27, 2015

Rules, rules and more rules OR "Do as I say not as I do..."

Thank you to our guest blogger, Heather, who had a LOT to say about the new "rules" coming from camp SOBBS.

RULES, RULES, RULES … Do as we say, not as we do
                If you’ve been lucky enough to still remain a member of SOBBS’s, Stories of Babies Born Still, Facebook community page, then you have probably seen the new and improved “rules” of proper grieving according to the SOBBS admin team.  If you’re like me, these “rules” have left you scratching your head in confusion at best, or have left you angry at worst.  I have to admit…I’m a bit of both with a healthy dollop of chagrin tossed in for good measure.  If you haven’t seen them yet, or haven’t had the time to read them, I’ve transcribed them here for you. 
                Why did I transcribe the “rules” instead of posting screenshots?  I really wanted to absorb the words and understand exactly what was said versus the forced, and supposed intent, of the “rules”.  You’ll find the SOBBS “rules” italicized and my sometimes literal interpretation in plain script.  Now, you’ll probably find something strange in the text of the “rules” that looks like this [sic].  Now, while I personally find this to be utter garbage and not worth the paper to wipe my…well, you know, with…the [sic] in the text means that the preceding words are how Lori & company actually wrote the “rules” and have not been altered or changed by me at all.  It really just illustrates how much care and attention they did not give to the consideration of these so-called “rules”.
                So, now that I’ve explained myself…let’s dive in, shall we?

SOBBS Wall Policies
We, at SOBBS, are here to provide a safe place for families to mourn, grieve, honor, share, cry, vent and to begin to heal after the loss of a stillborn baby.  While we 100% recognize the loss of a child regardless or [sic] age, stage or circumstance is a pain deeper than the ocean and wider than the sea we are a group for STILLBIRTH.  We exist to give families of stillbirth a voice, a shoulder, an ear.  While we know this is a painful, emotional, exhausting, heart-wrenching journey and families are welcomed [sic] to share whatever they may feel here, there are a few things we cannot allow on our wall for the respect of all member.
Now, if you’re like me, you don’t care to be yelled at no matter the situation.  Lori & Co. are screaming STILLBIRTH at us.  They want to make sure you get it.  That’s all they care about is stillborn children.  Nothing else.  Now, have they defined what stillborn is and what they mean by that?  No, they haven’t and here’s why…they don’t know or they just don’t care.  Period.  Now, I know, most of us regard stillbirth as a full-term baby, but ask any mother who has miscarried at 8-weeks or at 14-weeks and they will tell you that the baby, although not fully formed, was still at birth.  That’s the point…they were birthed.  And yet, Lori & Co. do not allow miscarriage mothers onto the SOBBS Facebook page.  They have a “SOBBS – Miscarriage Matters” Facebook page that you can join, but only if the miscarriage is within a certain number of weeks.  I believe that anything into the second trimester is not considered appropriate for the “Miscarriage Matters” page and doesn’t fit in with the SOBBS main page.  So what are those parents to do?  Who cares!  If you don’t fit the mold, you don’t get to join.  As a matter of fact, I heard from a loss parent who had experienced a stillbirth and then a miscarriage.  She was not allowed to talk about the miscarriage in the SOBBS main page and she wasn’t allowed to join the “Miscarriage Matters” page because she was already a member of the SOBBS main page.  So this poor woman has to choose which child is more important to her to remember and get support on.  Bad form Lori!  Seriously bad, but let’s go back to the text and see that she’s very poetic about oceans and seas…if you like nautical themes.
1.)    We cannot allow posting of anything related to the sale of any items other than those items in our SOBBS store or SOBBS approved fundraisers.  While we know this is a bit disappointing this is to protect us as well as our members from any issues arising from outside vendors.  Please know all items sponsored by SOBBS go to support our various awareness campaigns and give back to the BL community.  If you have any questions regarding our items or campaigns please visit our documents section or message one of our admins.
Now, I know.  This “rule” doesn’t seem too horribly unreasonable, does it?  What I think is being said is this:  buy our stuff and only our stuff, or what we tell you to buy, because we really don’t care about your healing or about your children or about you…we just want your money.  Now, I can hear you say “that’s not what’s being said…they do care about us!”  I’d like to take this moment to point out that their very first “rule” – the very first one – has nothing to do with how you, as a loss parent, is to be treated or respected or anything of that compassionate nature.  Their first “rule” tells you everything you need to know about the motives of this group because their first “rule” is what is most important to them and that is money.  I’m sorry, but that is the case.  Please read it again.  Just the first sentence, and see if I’m correct.  I truly am sorry.  I know we all had higher hopes and expectations for this group.

And I know I’m being nit-picky here, but the reference to “BL community” may leave people completely confused, especially if this is the first thing they have to read before they can participate in the group.  New loss parents may not know that “BL” stands for “baby loss”.  I would think that writing it out may be more helpful than using an abbreviation that many new to the community just would not know about.  So congratulations Lori & Co. for making new members feel stupid on top of feeling like any step could get them in trouble!  Hell of a way to make a first impression.
2.)    Please do not post links to any other pages, groups, fundraisers or products on the wall without express permission from the admin team.  While occasionally we do share a link that we find particularly useful we want to keep our space as it was meant to be, a place for support.  Too often members posts [sic] seeking to give/receive support, vent, cry, connect, share, love, feel [sic] get lost among posts of an advertisement nature.  If you have found a site or link that you would like to share please message one of the admin team so we may evaluate its content.  There is a one go-to place in the documents section called “Good works are links that form a chain of love.” Where you may paste a helpful link, group, organization or product.
So, is this reasonable?  What part?  Let’s break it down some.  The posting of other pages, groups, fundraisers or products…again, sorry to say, this points clearly to what is most important to Lori & Co. and that is money.  The posting of links to other pages or groups or fundraisers or products would interfere with their ability to make money off of you, the grieving loss parent.  They don’t want you to bring attention to any other page or group because that would take attention away from them and promote competition in the market of loss.  What could you find on other pages?  Tips for maintaining a healthy home and body even though you don’t feel like doing anything except crying.  What could you find on other groups?  More than likely the actual support you are looking for.  There are a lot of groups out there who are there specifically for sharing.  I can’t tell you how many of them I’ve been to that just want to be there for you and are not trying to sell you something or guilt you into participating in a fundraiser so they can make money off of you…off of your baby…off of your grief.  Loss shouldn’t be profitable, but once again…I refer you to the very first “rule” which has nothing to do about you, the loss parent, or your child – but has everything to do with your bank account. 

They want you to refrain from posting about fundraisers.  But that’s what Lori & Co. do all of this for, isn’t it?  To raise funds for Cuddle Cots?  They say they can hold your funds in escrow to put toward a cot with your child’s name on it and place it in a hospital of your choosing.  That’s what they do, isn’t it?  But you can’t post any fundraising that you are doing to get that cot in memory of your child because that goes completely against the no-fundraising “rule” unless it is a fundraiser that SOBBS is putting on and those funds raised will go to whatever pet project Lori is feeling like doing at that moment.  What else does this speak to?  If you raise the funds yourself, you might actually find out that you don’t need Lori or SOBBS at all to purchase a Cuddle Cot or place it or put your child’s name on the plate!  Goodness me!  They just can’t have that, now can they?

Oh, and no links unless they want it, which means that someone on the admin team wants the credit for finding said link.  It’s sad, but true.  Reflective glory on your personal stages of grief.  So, what else is there?  Oh, yes.  Too often members post wanting to talk to someone because they need support or to vent or whatever but with all the advertisements they can’t get the support they need.  Sounds like a good thing but I’m going to burst that bubble.  I have seen documentation between Lori & Co. admin team members who make fun of loss parents looking to connect with someone to talk or vent.  Advertisements aside, the admin team at SOBBS does not care about you or your loss.  They make fun of you for sharing.  They make fun of you for reaching out to other loss parents.  And they doubt the legitimacy of your loss and will go to any depth necessary to find out if you are lying.  That to me is not a group of people that I want around me.  Do you want these people in your corner?  I can hear you now, “but they don’t do that to everyone, just those that must have deserved it”.  I say to that, in response, if they do it to just one person, that is one person too many and there is nothing to stop them from doing it to everyone.  And absolutely no one, and I mean no one, deserves to be ridiculed for a loss…no matter what they may have done or said within the group or to a member of the admin team.  Everyone should be treated with dignity and respect!

And one last thing…if you post a link, you must get express permission from the admin team (who, by the way, cannot agree on anything and change their minds constantly…I was let in to SOBBS and then removed and then let in again before being removed once more because one admin said “yes” and Lori said “no”).  They have to check it out first to see if it is quality material by evaluating its content.  If you are posting it, that would, I’m assuming here, be because you found it particularly helpful in your own grieving process.  By Lori & Co. having to evaluate the content before allowing it to be posted, that is the equivalent of them telling you that they are evaluating your mental state and grieving process and will tell you whether you are doing it right!  Who the hell are they to tell you whether you are grieving properly?!
3.)    Absolutely no cursing, cussing or name calling.  When cuss words are used in a post it takes on a whole different inflection and some are truly offend [sic] by cuss words.  Posts with cussing or name calling will be removed without notice.  In addition, we do not tolerate any disrespectful, negative or crude comments or posts of any kind.  Please do not come to the wall and air personal differences with individuals, groups, links or drama that might be happening on another page.  That is not to say you cannot disagree with each other as long as it is done in a caring and gentle manner.  Anyone who violates this policy will be suspended from the group for a period of 3 days.  After 3 days the member may be re-admitted to SOBBS by requesting to join again.  If another incident occurs with the same member that member will be permanently banned from SOBBS.  If someone has made a comment that feels malicious or hurtful to you please contact one of our administrators immediately.
Again, I will be nit-picky.  Cursing and cussing is the same damn thing.  And, once again, who are they to explain to you what the usage of curse words will or will not do to a posting and sentence structure?  Seriously, are you guys a bunch of 5 year olds or are you mature adults who know what to post?  But who am I to judge the no cuss words “rule”?  Well, I’m just a loss parent who has been through the grieving process several times and not a single one of those periods of grief were ever the same.  So Lori & Co. are again telling you how to grieve.  No curse words!  People grieve differently and some use curse words because those words convey the hurt, the anger, and the futility of the loss of their child!  How many loss parents are going to censor themselves and not be honest about their feelings?  Gee, let’s see…how is “John Doe” doing today?  I think I’ll ask him.  And then John just wants to respond that he feels like shit.  That’s an honest and to the point response that adequately expresses how he feels.  But Lori & Co. can’t have that…so poor John has to use extra energy and mental processes to find other words that can accurately and succinctly express himself because he can’t use the words immediately available to him.  Lori & Co. won’t let him.  Again, folks, this points very clearly that they don’t care about you.

And to further the “we don’t care” pattern, you can disagree with each other, but not with the SOBBS admin team and if you don’t follow the “rules”, you will be suspended for 3 days.  Well, that’s what they say, but in truth…you’re being kicked out.  But you can always ask to join again after the 3 days are up.  But if you screw up again…you’ll be dropped and blocked from ever joining again and you’ll never find them again.  Ask around.  There are lots of loss parents who were removed from the group and automatically banned for no other reason than who they had in their Facebook friends list or because they disagreed with Lori or they had a simple question regarding the funds that they raised and donated to SOBBS for the purchase of a Cuddle Cot in their child’s name.  If Lori feels threatened, whether the threat is real or imagined, she will take swift action against you.  Don’t take my word for it though.  Lori & Co. are telling you this themselves.

Have you ever heard of the “three strikes” rule?  It’s a common rule in baseball.  Three strikes and you’re out!  Well, for Lori & Co. you only get two strikes before you’re out.  Cast into the shadows of a yawning abyss of guilt, grief, and now, abandonment.  Yes, it isn’t fair.  But people who actually care about you will pull you to the side (in a private message) and ask you what’s going on with you.  See, people sometimes lash out in anger in their grief.  Grief is numbing.  Anger at least lets you feel something other than the emptiness.  Truly compassionate people understand that and give you the space you need to do this.  Lori & Co. will just cut you off and wash their hands of you, and your grief, and your baby.  They say it’s to protect the other members, but really it’s just because they are too self-absorbed and lazy to care about you.
4.)    We cannot allow any member to be discourteous to any member of our administrative team.  If you have a concern or a problem with one of our team members please contact us directly.  It is our heart [sic] to be loving, inspiring, and helpful, never judgmental, or hurtful.  So please give us the chance to fix a problem before it escalates.  In addition, SOBBS admins reserve the right to delete ANY post at ANY time for the serenity of the group.  If a post gets out of hand or turns ugly it will be removed without notice.  If you have a question regarding this policy please feel free to message an admin.  We will not discuss or debate a removed post on the wall.  Anyone who violates this policy will be suspended from the group for a period of 3 days.  After 3 days the member may be re-admitted to SOBBS by requesting to join again.  If another incident occurs with the same member that member will be permanently banned from SOBBS.
They’re trying to step in between you and your grieving process yet again.  Removing you for 3 days is being judgmental and is extremely hurtful.  Please know that when they say discourteous toward a member of the admin team that they mean you can’t disagree with them or call them on their bullshit.  You just can’t do that.  They know how to grieve better than you do.  They proclaim that they are concerned with the serenity of the group and have the right to remove any post at any time…but it isn’t for the serenity of the group at all.  I hope by now, you’re seeing that they think you should grieve in a certain way and if you aren’t doing it their way, then you are doing it wrong.  Grief is not pretty.  Grief is not serene.  Grief is ugly and raw and inconsistent!  Some days you’ll feel numb to everything and other days you’ll be raging and pissed off!  That’s part of the process and everyone does it differently.  Why should the reality of losing a child be sanitized on the SOBBS wall?  How is that being supportive of your grief?  It isn’t to keep delicate members from being offended!  It’s to keep Lori & Co. looking like misty mountaintop gurus who find beauty in mourning the loss of a child.  In a word, this approach is unrealistic and places undue stress and strain on a loss parent for not being perfect in their expression of mourning and grief.  The serenity of the group being touted above the raw, gut-wrenching reality of grief is ridiculous.  Fuck serenity!  No one suffers a loss in silence.  Cry, scream, curse, rant and rave!  You deserve to grieve your child.  You don’t need to be supervised to ensure correct grieving procedure is strictly adhered to.  That’s what they’re doing, you know.  Why else do they need to constantly threaten you with 3 day suspension and permanent banning from the group?  Yet another indication that they do not care about you.
5.)    We do ask that if you are posting regarding a rainbow please begin your post with “RAINBOW ALERT”.  Also if posting in regards to your sunshine child please also begin your post with “SUNSHINE ALERT”.  This is to protect members who are not at a place where they can read about pregnancies and can [sic] be spared the emotional upset.  Also we do ask if you want to post pictures of your sunshine/rainbows please in the post you are making write pics in comments and post the pictures in the comments.  Please remember that even though this news is genuinely prayed for SOBBS members, sadly, grows daily [sic].  Many, if not most members, are at a very raw stage of grief. Some just coming back from their child’s funeral services.  As we all come to learn that time and grief changes us we must be sensitive to each others [sic] needs.  Journeys and progress are very personal and we cannot assume others can feel happy about this news in the beginning stages of their suffering.  Posts that do not adhere to our wall policies will be deleted.
Let’s go back to the very first paragraph of the “rules”.  Not “rule” #1, but a little before that.  Remember the capitalized shouting of STILLBIRTH?  As in, that’s all they do?  Yeah, well, why are they making a to-do about the posting of rainbow and sunshine posts?  Those posts should be banned if you follow the other “rules” preceding it.  What’s more horrible to a new loss parent…the curse words or pictures of healthy, happy babies who survived?  I’d bank on the pictures of the living children being more devastating to a new loss parent.  They shouldn’t be allowed but they are because Lori & Co. want the opportunity to brag on their living children.  You guys are a captive audience for them.  Get out while you can and find another group who will actually give a shit about you.  SOBBS is strictly for stillbirth and nothing else.  They shouted it at you!  S-T-I-L-L-B-I-R-T-H!  Not for miscarriages or pregnancy concerns after a loss or for good news and sharing pictures of living children!  Stillbirth.  Period.  Nothing is more polarizing than being confronted with your loss time and again by looking at pictures of other people’s kids that they had after their loss.  Is it inspiring?  It could be, but the timing is circumspect.  Let me share with you my experience.  I had a loss and was invited to a baby shower that was given after the baby in question had been born.  I just couldn’t go.  I couldn’t be happy for them and I couldn’t stand to see that child, so I didn’t go.  I saved myself the heartache and pain of it all, but those of you who are subjected to these happy posts in SOBBS can’t avoid it.  It doesn’t matter if the pictures are in the comments!  Not all comments are suppressed and pictures are visible.  You can’t scroll through them quick enough to make it to safety!  It’s irresponsible to encourage such postings.  Seriously, folks…they just don’t care about you.
6.)    And finally if you feel like you may be suicidal please seek the help of a crisis center/hotline in your area immediately.  SOBBS is designed as an on-line support group and can in no way take the place of professional services required to treat and assist suicidal thoughts and feelings.  Please know we take talk of suicide very, very seriously here at SOBBS.  If posts of this nature come up on our wall we do our best to point the aching heart in the direction of help.  If a second post comes up from the same individual again expressing a possible suicidal tendency we will do our best to contact authorities, family members or friends to get the person the help they need.  In addition the post will be removed from the wall as well as the person posting.  Some of our members new to grief just do not have the emotional store to read or field such things.  We love each of you and hope you all understand.  If you have any questions or concerns please do not hesitate to contact an an [sic] admin.  Also, below are a few numbers/hotlines we recommend.  The first is sponsored by First Candle.  The second ask for you to leave a message and someone will call you back with in [sic] 24 hours.  The third one has someone answering the phone during daytime hours and they can connect you with a parent bereavement specialist right away.
Phone Support Hotlines
*First Candle:  1-800-221-7437.  Grief Counselors are available 24/7.
*Caring and Beyond:  (403) 294-1131 – this is a baby loss support group in which individuals can call/visit and share their experiences, grief, and feelings over their loss.
*National SIDS, Stillbirth & Miscarriage Hotline: (1-800-221-7437) – offers individuals who’ve from baby loss information [sic], literature, crisis counseling, and the like.
In care, concern and in the name of healing,
~The SOBBS team
Okay, I am extremely upset with this last “rule”.  If you are suicidal, get help and for the love of all things in this world, do not turn to them because they’ve even said it to you, in plain English, that if you are suicidal and you post it twice, they will contact your family, friends, co-workers, police, etc., to get you the help you need but…and this is a big but…you, and your post, will be banned from the group.  Period.  Suicide is not something to joke about.  It is serious and should be treated with all the care, compassion and dignity that you, as a suicidal individual, deserve.  Yes, deserve.  So scrap the numbers they recommended.  (Two of those hotlines are actually the same hotline with the same number.  And no hotline should take 24 hours to get back to you if you are suicidal – ever!  Every minute counts in the preservation of your life when suicide has become an option for you.)  Those numbers are for parents who are deeply in the grieving process but have not come anywhere close to being suicidal.
How do you know if you are suicidal?  Are you wanting to die?  Do you want to kill yourself?  Do you have a plan to kill yourself?  If you answered yes to any of the last three questions, you need to seek immediate medical attention.  Here’s what I would suggest you do.
If you are under the care of a psychiatrist, psychologist, or therapist – call them immediately and tell them what is going on with you, then follow their instructions.
If you are not under the care of a psychiatric professional, please go to the nearest emergency room and tell them what is going on with you.  Tell them that you are suicidal and that you want to be admitted for observation.  You don’t have to worry about packing a bag.  The psych department has everything you could possibly need to get through your stay with them.
As a last resort call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255.  They are available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week!  They are available in English and Spanish.  For more information, please visit their website at www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org.
Please, if you aren’t convinced now that SOBBS and Lori & Co. don’t care a fig about you, what has to happen before you’re convinced of it?  Whatever it is, I sincerely hope that the point of no return does not cost you your life.  You do not deserve to be abandoned by them, or anyone, for grieving your child.  And no “rules” will make your grieving process fit their ideal of what grief looks like.  The fact is, grieving, like war, is hell!  So please find another group that will give you the support you are looking for.
You deserve to be treated with dignity and respect.


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